actually walawala has been around a while. i am surprised he doesn’t have his own blog.
i don’t know anything about him, except that he has made some good comments on roissy in the past.
here he asks a good question.
walawala:
@Rollo
“Women crave the endorphin fueled chemical rush that comes from suspicion, indignation and anticipation.”
What are the game actions one can take from this.
I just have the mother of all shit tests last night….they were fast and furious and I was handling most well, but some I didn’t.
The scenario was that the girl I’m seeing started to try to get more hand in the relationship.
This included claiming among other things that: “Our values are different” because I paid my own bus fare once without paying hers, while her “ex” offered to buy her an apartment.
My response: “Yah….and look how that worked out, you’re with the cheap bastard….”
She harped on this idea of the bus fare saying “I need you to take care of me….”
Me: By paying your bus fare? What are you my daughter?
Lots of others came this way..
I gave the Popeye defense: I am what I am….take that or leave it….
In the end she banged me and seemed to revel in all of the drama.
I kept my cool for the most part.
But now I think I want to break up with her wondering can i really be with someone who expects me to pay her way through all this stuff.
On the other hand, all these game tactics work so well.
The minute I bring up something and then say “nah, I don’t think i want to get into that right now….” she’s practically begging me to reveal whatever it is.
So this power struggle that is built around a maetrom of emotions seems deeply rooted in suspicion, indignation and even misunderstandings.
here is my reply.
rivelino:
@walawala
“But now I think I want to break up with her wondering can i really be with someone who expects me to pay her way through all this stuff.”
a girl is always going to test to see how much of your energy and resources she can steal from you.
that is why yohami says that the term “shit test” is wrong. she is not just “testing your strength”, she is literally attempting to steal resources from you.
and as lovedrop points out, she wins either way. if you give her the resources, she just got more resources. if you stand up to her BS, then she becomes sexually attracted to you for standing up to her.
this is why bill burr calls women “psycho robots”.
you sound hurt from this experience.
don’t be.
if you are hurt, that means that her shit test hurt your feelings, which means that you took her test personally.
which means that you are taking her way too seriously.
what i forgot to mention is that he needs to punish her when she gets so out of hand.
but again, not punish her with anger and emotion — he can’t be emotionally reactive, as lovedrop tells us — he just has to again, prove to her his willingness to walk away, casually, effortlessly, like he got distracted from one pretty painting by another pretty painting.
girls LOVE attention, so the ultimate punishment is to simply take it away, WITHOUT drama.
the last thing you want to do is have a sit down “heart to heart” like remy did with katie, where you both express your true feelings.
that is REWARDING her bullshit behavior with more attention.
energy flows where attention goes.
“energy flows where attention goes”
I never thought about male/female relationships in terms of thermodynamics. But, one thing is for sure, wenches are energy sinks.
I’m pretty sure he’s a white guy and I’m sure he’s in Hong Kong. Finance I think.
Asked if he was Ozy, said no. (His screen name made me think that maybe.) So I suspect he’s a Brit. Could be a yank too.
Lesser alpha I’d say, and moving up.
White guys do have an advantage in east Asia.
@Rivelino, Doug1
The “lesser alpha”….interesting. I think the situation is something along those lines.
In Asia there is a kind of nuanced approach.
Too much “alpha” without vulnerability and it’s a major turn off in their context.
However, too much beta and they lose respect.
Some of the alpha needs to be tempered with beta.
I never call her. She craves phone conversations. So last night after that kind of “blow up” I describe and Rivelino captures here…I called.
It was a kind of pacifier. Then I suggested we meet up after work.
Suddenly she’s all in wet mode.
She calls me “Selfish”. The old me would have been defensive.
The new me agrees and amplifies.
She loves a challenge.
This is now a challenge for dominance in the relationship.
But as I mention, when it comes to the “I wanna go on holidays ….” I’m hitting a wall.
My “agree and amplify” didn’t pan out so well.
Not all interactions or game are 100% spot on. I recovered.
I see where this is going.
I see also that she notices when other girls talk to me and it does confuse her and drives her crazy.
In our smaller social circle we often go out to salsa parties and hang out and dance.
When we sit together, not many guys ask her to dance. But of course I ask other women. She doesn’t like this.
So she came out with “I want to sit separately so I can do the same as you. When I’m with you guys don’t ask me to dance”.
My response…”Sure…good idea….it’s all good.” On the surface, it’s not a big issue. But the idea that she’s suddenly coming up with this, rather than me saying it is somehow what got me off my game.
Perhaps I can bring it up again as if it were my idea.
I also think and know that she does things that provoke me.
When my reaction is the opposite of her expectation she suddenly panics.
Any advice on the “I’m going on vacation”…
and the “Let’s sit separately if we go to salsa dance socials….” would be great.
Re: vacation without you. Agree and amplify.
Plan a holiday at the same time that will run slightly longer than hers at a venue where she knows you will be meeting women. It can even be a long weekend as long as you are still out of town when she gets back. That way, she is waiting for YOU to come back rather than vice versa.
@zildjian
“I never thought about male/female relationships in terms of thermodynamics.”
i don’t know anything about thermodynamics but this is a huna philosophy. how does this relate to thermodynamics?
i thought one law of thermodynamics was that things tend to disorder, but then i read up on it and they said that that is a misinterpretation of the law.
hmm.
Thermodynamics is, more or less, about energy flow.
It is a fascinating topic though it has been a very long time since I thought about it.
In the end, can you not have unlimited ‘energy’ of the type you describe a woman taking from a man? An inexhaustible wellspring of the soul.